Marei - book one. Part three: Shadow. Chapter 22

The couples who did not need to be present for the Council drifted off towards the forest or towards a tent to engage in the pleasurable act that would allow them to sever the binding cord. Some other couples from the May pole pairings walked away, hand in hand, to explore the beach or to find their own secluded groves for the night celebrations.

Several of the elders remained and gathered nearer to the pole where John and Ursa were still standing with their arms around each other’s hips. I found myself standing next to Claudius who had stayed to watch the proceedings when Maeve left his side to join the Council members. When all who were required for the Council’s quorum were assembled, John turned to Grandmother and inclined his head slightly to indicate that it was she who should address the assembled group.

“Respected Elders, I am Láidáin, the Lady Steward of the House on the Hill. I have served this capacity for the swing of almost twenty year’s cycles, keeping the sacred grove of the Oak Man safe, preserving the testing rituals of initiation, and keeping to the sacred traditions of the Divine Triple Goddess. My door has been open to all who have sought refuge there. Justice has been dispensed, babies have been birthed, young girls have been trained and many a druid priestess has emerged ready to share her sacred self with our world and the world beyond these shores. I have birthed 2 other children from the Beltane pairings and count them both as children of the God. Though these children were fostered away from me, as is the tradition for the Steward, they both are now highly respected within their communities and well on their way to becoming Elders themselves.

“Now though,” she smiled into Gurek’s eyes as she continued, “I have finally found the lover that the God and Goddess have preserved and presented to me. And we have been blessed by a child, even in our age. I have read the signs, I have seen the augury: the Goddess favors our union and the birth of this child.

“As it is written that no married woman shall be Steward of the House because the vows of marriage may impede the ritual she may be called on to perform, I will relinquish my position as Steward. During the handfasting time, I can still be the Steward in name if none can be found who is suited to the task. But as you know if Gurek and I jump the marriage broom next spring, the House must be tended by another priestess who is ready both in ability and willingness to tend to its needs, and the needs of those who seek it.

“I ask that you call forth one who will willingly shoulder the burden and complete the joyous duties of Stewardship. I also ask that with the acceptance of this position the additional responsibility of completing the shadow cycle of my initiate and granddaughter pass to the current Steward, as is only right.” If I had been allowed to speak, I would certainly have protested in my shock. Without the ability to speak against the pronunciation, I simply stared; mouth open, tears in my eyes. Surely Grandmother could not leave me behind with the House and whoever would be there to take her place.

As I cried silently in distress I felt a warm hand wrap protectively around my clenched fingers. Without looking to see who it was, I opened my fist and intertwined our fingers, grateful for the silent support. I hiccupped in surprise when I saw that it was Claudius, still standing beside me, who had reached out to me in my sorrow. He stared steadfastly ahead with his jaw clenched, studiously not looking at me though a muscle in his jaw twitched repeatedly. He noticed! I thought, simultaneously ecstatic and grief stricken and as if he heard my happy cry, he squeezed my hand briefly.

I returned the squeeze in thanks and turned my attention back to the Council meeting, a warm glow spreading from our interlaced fingers through my entire body. Taking half a step closer to him, I leaned my arm against his and laid my head on the lightly muscled expanse of his upper arm. With that amount of physical contact I finally felt as if I were not going to fly off into the blue afternoon sky and was able to focus on what was being said in the circle of people in front of me.

John was talking, but quieter now as if he too was saddened by Grandmother’s announcement. “Ursa and I have been caretakers of the Steward since me father passed to the other side almost fifteen years ago. We have served the current Steward faithfully and will continue to serve whoever fills that position in the future. We have a great knowledge of the surrounding woods and the stores and supplies needed for a year’s cycle in the House and will gladly share them with the new Steward, so do not feel if ye volunteer for this position, ye will be alone or without resources. The Steward has always been well cared for by the Woodsman Family and when Ursa and I are gone, our son Little John has vowed to continue on in our place.”

Kevin Abernathy, the judge of property disputes that John had referenced earlier stepped forward into the ring. His long white hair was braided and tied with a green leather thong and his equally long and white beard was also freshly braided and decorated with beads and feathers. “John, we all thank you for that heartfelt statement of support. Many a Steward has been well tended by a member of the Woodsman family. My heart is comforted to know that such a fine family as yours will continue to be the supporting backbone of the heart of our Hill.” He clasped both hands together, saluting John and Ursa then continued. “I feel we should review the requirements for candidacy, John. It’s been so long since we’ve had to pick a new Steward that some who are now considered Elders in this circle have never had the opportunity to join in the choosing. Though we were all taught the regulations, and memorizing them was part of our training, hearing them spoken aloud could benefit us all.”

“Please do us that service, Master Abernathy.” John nodded towards the wizened old man who nodded in agreement and cleared his throat.

“Let all who have ears hear my words today,” he began in the traditional manner to indicate that he was starting a recitation instead of a story. “The Steward of the House on the Hill must meet several qualifications to be considered acceptable to that position. First, the House on the Hill is a meeting ground for Earth and Water; the Steward must be a woman. Second, the priestess duties require the giving of body, mind and soul; the Steward must not be married. Third, the priestess duties are arduous and require much training so that they may be completed fully and accurately; the Steward must have passed her testing at the Cauldron, emerged through vision at the woman’s initiation, served a year as a shadow of the Goddess, and returned sound of mind and body from her Wayward Journey. Fourth, the priestess must have knowledge of the people of the area; the Steward must be active currently within a tribe, clan or coven in this area, or be engaged in the discipline of Sacred Wanderer across the Island, and meet with the approval of this Council. Finally, the priestess must be beloved of the Goddess; the Steward must be tested and selected by the hand of the Goddess herself in the Sacred Well. I pray you have heard my words”

“Thank you Master Abernathy.” John continued, “With these requirements in mind, are there any within our Council who would like to either volunteer or suggest a candidate for Stewardship of the House on the Hill?”

A slightly strained silence followed his question. Several of the women in the circle were obviously wrestling with the idea and the men were in rapt consideration of who they might nominate, if they chose anyone. I was straining to hear any answer at all, carefully watching the faces of those in front of me when Maeve took a step forward.

“I meet the first four requirements. If the council will approve me I will submit to the testin’ required at the Sacred Well.” Heads nodded and voices murmured.

“Council, Maeve Callaghan has volunteered to submit herself to the will of the Goddess. Do ye approve?” All around the circle voices gave agreement and heads nodded their assent. John turned to Maeve. “Ye have been approved for consideration by this council. We await your Testing.” He then turned back to the rest of the group. “Are there any others who would like to either volunteer or suggest a candidate for Stewardship of the House on the Hill?”

Two busty red haired women stepped forward together. From the look of them, I knew they were sisters; one was taller than the other but both had the same freckled nose and the same shade of brilliant copper colored hair, with the same green eyes flashing out from behind dark lashes. They spoke simultaneously, as if they were twins. “We meet the first four requirements. If the council approves, we will submit ourselves to the Test of the Well.”

“Council, Conandil and Aime Crichton have volunteered to submit themselves to the will of the Goddess. Do you approve?”

One of the older men in the Council with salt and pepper hair addressed the two women. “Me girls, the Steward is a position for only one woman. For as long as I’ve known ye both, and I’ve known ye since ye were born, ye’ve gone everywhere and done everything together. Would either of ye be able to let the other be alone on the Hill if only one of you were chosen by the Goddess?”

“We have been together for as long as we can remember, even being born at almost the same time, from the same mother…” one of them started

“But the House must have a Steward, and we both fulfill the qualifications. If the Goddess so chooses, we will be parted from each other to serve her better,” the other continued where the first had left off.

John repeated his earlier question, “Council, do you approve?” This time there were no further questions and all present agreed that the Crichton twins would be allowed to be tested. “Aime and Conandil Crichton, ye have been approved for consideration by this council. We await your Testing. Are there any others who would like to either volunteer or suggest a candidate for Stewardship of the House on the Hill?”

A toothless old woman with large pendulous breasts under a gaudy, bright pink, bell covered robe stepped forward from close to me. Her hair was long, but not well kempt and had started to curl back upon itself and looked like a sheep’s coat after the rain. She had purposely used some purple dye that was usually reserved for fabric on the ends of her corded gray hair and had woven beads, feathers and bones into the thick ropes of hair as if it were an elderly man’s beard. To my surprise she did not smell unwashed, as she looked; instead she had a faint odor of incense and wax and an unidentifiable sweetness that seemed to emanate from her when she moved. With a gummy grin, she pointed her finger across the circle and crowed in a strikingly pleasant voice, “Lassarina Kinnear, I nominate you! You meet all the first four requirements. Step forward and be counted, you old coward!” She virtually howled with laughter as the other woman grumpily stepped forward.

The second woman was truly a sight to behold. She wore dark brown pants that had been covered in embroidered symbols and runes. Though the pants were loose fitting and flowed easily from the gathered waist, they did nothing to hide the knock-knees and pigeon-toes that bent her legs at odd and uncomfortable looking angles. Her back was hunched on the right side and she leaned heavily on a thick cane that she used to punctuate her speech as a warrior would use his sword to rally troops. Her fingers on the top of the cane were knotted and stained with age and her nails were so long on the middle two fingers that they curled in on themselves in a spiral. Her shirt was strained to the breaking point as it stretched to cover both the hunched back and the abnormally large breast on the left side. Her right breast was so small as to be nearly invisible so the overall effect was as if someone had removed her right breast and reattached it on her back.

But her face was what drew me. For even though her body was misshapen and painful to look at for long, her face was strangely beautiful. Her hair was a mixture of silver and the copper color that must have been predominant when she was younger and flowed as softly as a maiden’s hair in gentle waves around her shoulders. She was what common folk would refer to as “bat-faced” with a high, flat, wide forehead, broad cheekbones and pointy chin. But the look was softened by a tiny, delicate mouth with perfect pearl white teeth and rosy apple red cheeks. One of her eyes was deep brown with red flecks and had a depth that was difficult to look into without feeling as if she knew everything about you. But the other eye was whitish, not clouded over with aged blindness, but without color of its own. The albino eye roamed around independently of the other eye and without any apparent rhyme or reason. The combination of grotesque and attractive made her seem as intriguing as a carved statue.

When she spoke her voice was a husky contralto. “Aye Beirnis Macauley, you crazy old bird woman; I meet the four requirements and I will submit myself to the Test of the Sacred Well.”

John opened his mouth to announce her to council, but at one glance from those commanding eyes his mouth snapped shut. “Once long ago when we were young lasses, Láidáin Barran Callaghan, Beirnis Macauley and meself all took the initiation rite together. We all three have become powerful women in our own ways, and the bonds of friendship run deep, even with Beirnis’ wicked tongue.”

“It’s all I’ve got left! I might as well use it up too!” Beirnis catcalled to Lassarina and they exchanged grins with obvious affection.

“Láidáin has served her term well and long and for that we all thank her, and wish her well as she finally gets to retire to a very attractive bed mate.” Lassarina winked her albino eye and Beirnis hooted with laughter as Gurek flexed his muscles as if posing for the two older women. “I will submit to the test, on the grounds that the Goddess must still see use for my twisted husk of a body, and to ensure that a dear friend gets her happy retirement. But I will only be Tested if the Beauteous Beirnis agrees also to submit to the Testing.”

Lassarina raised a grizzled and clawed hand to point to the gape mouthed, jingling woman. “Beirnis Macauley, you meet the first four requirements and I nominate you to undergo the testing to be Steward of the House!”

“Well hot damn!” Beirnis slapped her thigh and jingled across the circle to hug Lassarina. “You old coot, I should have known you’d have a trick such as that up your sleeve. Now if I want to see you rot on top of that cold miserable hill, I have to submit myself to the testing too! And at my age…”

“Beirnis, you’re a full five years younger than I am.”

“Ah yes, that I am. But I do believe that the quality of the time accounts for how heavily the age weighs upon weary bones. By that token, I must be at least twice your age by now!” Both old women hooted with laughter, arms around each others shoulders.

John finally dared to speak again. “So does this mean that ye are both accepting the nominations?”

The two ladies exchanged glances that were simultaneously a kind of glee, a secret language, and a challenge. In unison, they crowed, “we accept the nomination!” Lassarina added, “consult the council now, young man, before we doddering old women fall down from exhaustion.”

Like a chastened young boy, John hastily asked the council the ceremonial question that was quickly approved by all present. “So then,” John wiped a hand across his brow, obviously glad to no longer be under the scrutiny of the two old women. “Are there any others who would like to volunteer or suggest a candidate for Stewardship of the House on the Hill?”

When no one else stepped forward, John called the Council meeting to a close. “We have five hopeful candidates for the Steward. The Testing at the Sacred Well will fall on the next new moon. Anyone who cannot, for whatever reason, be in attendance will forfeit her chance to be tested. May the Goddess find one within our midst who is worthy to be known as the Steward. Since we are all gathered together now, does anyone here have news to present or requests to make?”

Grandmother stepped forward again, bringing the attached Gurek with her. “Council; I have been approached by a young man for healing, and I can vouch that his heart is determined and willing to make the changes required to heal. However, though I have been consulting what methods are available to me for more than a ten-day, I have been unsuccessful in acquiring the knowledge of how best to help him. I know only that he has an important role to play in the future of this island, though that role has not yet been revealed to either he nor I, and that it is by the hand of a Sacred Wanderer that he will receive the healing he has requested. I ask for any who are willing to consult your oracles on his behalf, and mine.”

Claudius stiffened next to me and I could feel the slight pulse from his arm beneath my cheek begin to race. I shifted slightly closer to him and rubbed my cheek lightly against his arm in an attempt to comfort him without being too conspicuous. He squeezed my hand again and I returned the gesture, a feeling of possessive warmth spreading through me as he very briefly nuzzled his head against mine. I had not realized that Grandmother’s retirement might mean that he would also be leaving the House, or that he might have to seek elsewhere to acquire the assistance he needed.

Several of the Council members agreed that they would also consult their oracles to determine the best method to help Claudius, if there was one to be seen. Grandmother inclined her head and thanked them when she was interrupted by Lassarina who thumped her heavy walking stick on the ground before she spoke to get the Council’s attention. “I will see what I see, Láidáin, but also will I bring it to the Sacred Well at the testing. Perhaps only the Goddess herself knows best how to assist this young man, if the normal oracles are silent.”

Nodding in thoughtful agreement Grandmother mused, “you may be right ‘Rina. Perhaps we need a higher oracle. I thank you for your insight and await any answers any might find.” She stepped back into the outer ring of the circle with Gurek and nodded to John.

“Any other matters to be brought before the Council?” He turned around in a circle, inspecting the faces of all who were there before he continued with the traditional closing of a Council meeting. “We all give thanks for our continued health and ability to be present at the Council. Go from here with the peace of the Goddess in yer heart and the strength of the God in yer feet. As above, So Below.”

As the final closing statement was echoed by all present, the Council broke off into groups to prepare for their dinners before the central circle that would be attended by all parties later that evening before dusk. Grandmother wrapped her non bound arm around Gurek and leaned heavily on his shoulder as if she were exhausted. Soothingly he patted her hair. Gradually, when she did not move away from him, I realized that Grandmother was crying. I felt tears fill my eyes as I contemplated the idea of what it meant to all of us, not just myself, that Grandmother was leaving the House on the Hill.

I had not known that Grandmother had been Steward for twenty years; that was longer than I’d been alive. What must she be feeling to leave a House that had been her home for that long? Even though I knew she loved Gurek, she must be feeling as if her entire way of life was ending. And though she was moving into another life well supported, she was taking steps that most women felt apprehensive about; she was getting married and having a baby. I also had not known that Grandmother had birthed children besides my mother. That Maeve and Grandmother had the same last name had not escaped my attention and I wondered to myself if Maeve was her other child. Grandmother finally straightened. In a loving gesture, Gurek wiped away her tears with his thumb and kissed her.

“Letting go of the House was harder than I thought it would be,” she murmured. She straightened her shoulders decisively and turned around to face me, pivoting at the handfasting cord that still bound her hand to Gurek. “Marei, I apologize for not warning you before today of the consequences of my actions, and the effect my decisions would have on your life. I feel I have been remiss in some aspects of your training because of my preoccupation with this pregnancy and the joy of my new love with Gurek. It is my hope to rectify this by passing the remains of your training on to a fresher Steward who is ready to prepare you to walk the Wayfarer’s Journey as a Sacred Wanderer.”

For the entire time she had been talking, she had been looking directly in my eyes and as I saw her eyes travel from my face to include my stance with Claudius I became self conscious. I had been so enthralled with the proceedings of the Council meeting, and so comforted by his presence that I had forgotten I was still leaning against him, and that we were holding hands. Under her careful scrutiny I felt compelled to lift my head from Claudius’ arm and shift slightly to give more space between us. When I loosed my grip on his fingers to release his hand, however, he held tight and would not let go as if he needed the comfort of my hand as much as I had needed the comfort of his.

“And wh-wh-what of me Láidáin? W-W-Where should I go when you leave the House? Should I accompany you, because it w-w-was you wh-wh-who agreed to help me, or am I also a responsibility to be p-p-passed to your successor?” Claudius’ voice cracked betraying his agitation as the stammer showed through his careful mask of neutrality. I squeezed his hand supportively as he had mine earlier and felt him squeeze back in acknowledgement and shift slightly towards me until our arms were touching again. Only then did I realize that he was just as frightened by the sudden changes as I was.

“Ah, Claudius; I apologize also to you for not preparing you to hear of my retirement before it happened. Not knowing the ways of our people this must be both confusing and frightening to you. In truth, it is your decision whether or not you stay at the house. You were seeking the Steward when you came, and soon I will no longer be the Steward; perhaps it would be best to remain with she who will bear the title after me. I believe you have found more than just the assistance of the Steward when you found the House.” She looked pointedly at me and though I felt again as if I should pull away, the steady pressure of his hand reassured me and I did not move. She continued, “I have also not been able to determine how best to assist you with your request; so it may be that I am not the person who is able to help you. Perhaps you should also wait to see what others will learn on your behalf before you decide where to stay, or if you should go. The testing at the Sacred Well will be in a fort-night. Stay at the House and join us again at that Council’s meeting for a report of what was seen on your behalf.”

Claudius nodded once shortly, the muscle in his jaw twitching again as he clenched his teeth.

“But for now, the time draws closer for feeding our hungry bellies before we go to the great Circle and beyond to the festivities of the evening. Láidáin, m’khindẻǽ, I think we are too close to our supper for the enjoyment of our bond. We will have to persevere and prepare the evening meal with one hand each and save our pleasures for after dark as the young dancers must do.” Gurek scowled in mock frustration that made all four of us laugh. “Come now, let’s find our fire and have some food before the Circle begins.”